It's Not Hard To Fall
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: AndreaNeil. Songfic to Cannonball by Damien Rice. Philippa finds out about Neil's affair but will he choose his wife over Andrea? Please review! xx


**It's Not Hard To Fall**

This fic is dedicated to Lornz, I promised I'd write it ages ago and never got round to it! Enjoy! Please review as well! Vikki x

* * *

_Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth  
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt  
Still a little hard to say what's going on_

Neil Manson was working late again, using his work as a way of escaping the tangled mess that was his life. Neither Andrea or Philippa were talking to him now and he hated himself for what he had done to them both. He had never wanted to hurt either or them, it was loving them both that he caused the most damage. How did he go from having everything he thought he wanted to having nothing at all. Neil knew it was his own fault for taking such a big risk, but then if you don't take the risk for love what do you take it for? He knew he had been foolish to think that he could sustain a lasting relationship with Andrea when he was still married to Philippa. Andrea wanted commitment from him and he wanted to give it to her but he wasn't strong enough to tell Philippa the truth. His weakness had caused him to lose them both and hated himself for it._  
_

_Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness  
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed  
You step a little closer each day  
That I can't say what's going on_

Andrea sighed as she sank down onto the double bed in the only bedroom in her ground floor flat. She put her head in her hands and sobbed, none of it was fair. She had never wanted any of this to happen, she had never chosen to fall in love with Neil Manson and she had never expected to feel this much pain from loving someone. She knew that if he come to her flat right now and told her that he loved her, she would take him back without a second thought. Andrea Dunbar never used to be this weak, especially not when it came to men. She had always been the one who played hard to get and had the upper hand but now she had truly fallen for Neil Manson. Andrea felt ashamed for being the 'other woman' in his marriage but if she could turn back time she knew she would repeat the same mistakes except this last painful week without him.

_Stones taught me to fly  
Love, taught me to lie  
Life, it taught me to die  
So it's not hard to fall  
When you float like a cannonball_

Philippa Manson picked Jake up from school that afternoon but even her son's enthusiasm and bubbly personality wasn't enough to cause her to crack even the smallest of smiles. She wondered if Neil would be home when she got back, he hadn't been for days and now Philippa knew why. She couldn't believe that she hadn't suspected that her husband was playing away and having an affair with another woman. Juggling a powerful and hectic job, a young child and a home to run meant that Philippa didn't have much time to spend with Neil. Philippa still loved him but the magic had long been gone from their marriage.

_Still a little bit of your song in my ear  
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear  
You step a little closer to me  
So close that I can't see what's going on_

It was only when the cleaners arrived to clean the CID offices that Neil decided it was time to call it a night, he hadn't been concentrating on his work anyway. His thoughts had been wandering from Andrea to Philippa and Jake and back to Andrea again. He packed up his files and after leaving his office he walked through the deserted office. As soon as he got into his car he turned on the radio, he could bear the silence no longer. Neil turned the key in the ignition and began to drive. After five minutes of driving Neil realised he had no idea where he was going and that his subconscious had taken over. It took him another moment to realise that he had just pulled onto the road where Andrea lived. Neil didn't know if he believed in fate but surely this had happened for a reason? He pulled to a stop in the nearest empty space and turned off the engine. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel trying to work out what to do for the best.

_Stones taught me to fly  
Love, it taught me to lie  
Life taught me to die  
So it's not hard to fall  
When you float like a cannon.._

Andrea wiped her eyes and blew her nose on a tissue and threw it into the bin amongst many others. She knew she had to be stronger than this, it wasn't like her. She went to the bathroom, maybe a shower would help to release some tension she felt. She was about to turn on the light when she heard a soft tapping at the door which soon became more insistent.

"Alright, I'm coming!" Andrea snapped impatiently before going to answer the door. "Neil!" She exclaimed as she saw him stood before her. He looked like she felt.  
"Hi." He said. "Can we talk?"

"Um...okay..." Andrea said uncertainly, standing back to let Neil into the flat. He took a seat in his usual place on her two seater sofa.

"Would you believe me if I told you I was sorry? That I never meant to hurt you?" Neil said gently.

"I..." Andrea stuttered. She had told herself that she wouldn't fall for this again but she believed him and it was hard to say no.

"Please Andrea...I love you...I love you so much."

Andrea fought to keep a control on her emotions.

"Neil, I love you too...that's why this is so hard. It's not just an affair for me, maybe it was in the beginning. I never expected to fall in love with you."

They were both crying now, Neil held his arms open and Andrea held on tightly to him. After a moment she took a breath.

"What about Philippa? What about Jake?" She asked.

Neil sighed. "Philippa will get over it, our love is over and well, Jake..." He sighed again. "I love Jake and I hope he'll understand, I barely see him during the week anyway..."

_Stones taught me to fly  
Love, it taught me to cry  
So come on courage  
Teach me to be shy  
_

Philippa picked up the phone as soon as it began to ring. Jake was already in bed and asleep and Philippa didn't want to wake him.

"Hello?"  
"Philippa, it's me." Came the reply.  
"Oh, hello Neil." Philippa replied coldly.

"I'm moving out, I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore...tell Jake I love him. I'll be round tomorrow to get my stuff."

Philippa knew she should have expected the call and right now she felt nothing. Nothing at all. Maybe it was best that way.

"Are you okay?" Andrea asked as Neil hung up the phone.

"I'm fine now." He smiled as she tucked her head under his chin.

"Good, I'm glad." She smiled too.  
Things weren't going to be easy but they were going to take these slowly, one step at a time.

_'Cause it's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna scare her  
It's not hard to fall  
And I don't wanna lose  
It's not hard to grow  
When you know that you just don't know  
_


End file.
